


La Otra Mitdad de Mi Alma

by mrschiltoncat



Category: Prospect (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Happy Ending, PTSD, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrschiltoncat/pseuds/mrschiltoncat
Summary: Set after the events of the movie. So big spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet.  Reader and Ezra are in an established relationship, since before he left for the Green.  Angst with a happy ending.
Relationships: Ezra (Prospect 2018)/Reader, Ezra (Prospect 2018)/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	La Otra Mitdad de Mi Alma

**Author's Note:**

> In this storyline Ezra has been at the Green no more than a few months, and he and reader have been in contact, but obviously not as often as they like. And following the end of the movie, Cee took Ezra to a med center on the way home as his injuries had been pretty bad. This fic does handle issues of guilt, healing from a gunshot and stab wound, mainly emotionally (the physical wounds are not described much). And angst in a relationship but a happy ending.

“She was the one who shot me.”

You felt your heart stop at those words. The girl who saved your Ezra, whom you had allowed into your shared home, also hurt the person who meant the most to you? She had caused him pain. You could only see red, having half a mind to go downstairs and strangle Cee. 

+++

When they had finally been on their way back to you, Ezra had warned Cee not to tell you. He wanted a place for the girl to stay, but he knew how protective you were. 

“My beloved is an angel of the highest nature, kinder and more pure of soul than any other. But when it comes to those she loves, oh, she be little, but she be fierce. So let me tell her in my own time, little Bird.”

After all, you were the reason he fought to make it out of the Green. The reason he went in the first place, though you tried to tell him not to; or at the very least to let you accompany him. He had refused, there was no way he was going to put you in such danger. 

He would sooner walk through fire. 

You were, and are, the other half of his soul. He knew it the moment he met you, or at the least that you were a rare find, more precious than any aurelac. And for some reason you had chosen to shine your love and devotion on Ezra, and though he wasn’t a man of faith he knew when he met you that Kevva must be real. How else could one so divine deign to look at him like he shone? Like he was special?

Though he felt unworthy, Ezra wanted nothing but to keep that shine in your eyes, that sound of laughter that filled his entire being with purpose and love. And he planned to marry you, and raise children with you, if you would have him. He had never wanted such a thing, but for you, he would do anything; found himself wanting everything. 

So, he had decided, one last foray into the Green. The hell you asked him not to return to. But he wanted to provide for you, as old fashioned as it was. Ezra had asked your family for their blessing out of respect, and they had expressed their greatest desire was to know their daughter, their precious little girl, was provided for. They had you later in life and were worried you would be left without their help when they shuffled off this mortal coil. You being an artist, and not caring about money much. Ezra wanted you to be able to continue your hours of painting, of doing what you loved most. 

Ezra had promised them he would take care of you. Not that he had planned otherwise. He would give you the entire galaxy if he could, his only gift being the miracle that was your love and devotion. The greatest gift he could ask for. 

That was how he ended up on the Green again, thinking of how he had to fight, to survive for you. His heart would break thinking of your tears. 

After what he did to Cee’s father, he felt such guilt. And he knew being the angel that you are, you would want to help her. But he also knew how passionate and protective you were of him, something that only made him love you ever the more. 

And Cee had promised, only sharing what Ezra asked her to. And after all, if the full truth was known, the girl feared she might not be accepted at their home.

++

“How could you not tell me,” you whispered, eyes wide as you glanced at your love in disbelief. 

“Now sweetheart, I did ….I did contribute to...the demise of her father. And she did save me afterwards. I wouldn’t be back here, holding you my dearest one, were it not for Cee. I beg you, do not fault her,” he implored gently as he held one of your hands in his, pressing a kiss to your trembling one.

Your mouth opened and closed. You couldn’t believe he had kept this from you. This stranger you had let into your home. Whom you had thanked and given kindness to; and whom had hurt the other half of your soul. It was the deepest ache, knowing you weren’t there when he was harmed. You had wept when he returned, sad for his loss of a limb. Not because it affected your love for him, but because he was hurt. And you weren’t there to protect him. But you were so grateful he was back, that you could hold him again. Your world, your darling poet was home. With a promise to never leave again. 

And you had also been filled with a rage like never before. How dare anyone hurt your Ezra. Your heart. How you wanted such a beast to pay. 

Ezra had woken up in tears many times in the two weeks since his return, trying hard to act strong but breaking down in your arms when you cooed softly in his ear. Telling him how much you love him, and you know it hurts. You didn’t need to elaborate; Ezra knew you didn’t just mean the physical pain of his stab wound or the arm being removed. You saw him like no other. 

You didn’t want to keep crying in front of Ezra, the man who always comforted you. No, it was your turn to be strong. He shouldn’t be caring for you when he was suffering. So after you would rock him back to sleep in your arms, you would sometimes go to your en suite bathroom and weep as softly as you could. You hated seeing your sweet love hurting so much, and you felt anger with not only whoever had hurt Ezra, but yourself. You should have been there. You shouldn’t have listened and went with him anyway. 

You wished to Kevva that you could take on his pain. 

You thought you had been silent, but Ezra had heard you. And he was terrified that you were crying because he was now less than. He had told himself how he was being unfair to you, even told Cee of his fears on the journey home. She had assured him that if you were as wonderful as he so often opined, it wouldn’t matter. But the mind in pain is a dangerous foe, and the tiny sprinkle of doubt blossomed hearing your tears. Since when did you not seek his comfort when you cried? This had to be the reason.

And so for the past week he had been quiet, his silence you deemed to be depression and lack of energy from his injuries. You tried to cheer him up but you were hurting too, and you told yourself he could be stubborn and needed time. 

Hearing that Cee had shot Ezra though, had your anger resurfacing. But looking back at Ezra, you could see the twinge of pain that his quick movements, just to take your hand, had caused. You knew stress tended to affect the body, and he was more tender now, worried you would be angry with him. You were upset, but much more at Cee, and much more deeply, at yourself. And your eyes softened at Ezra’s pain.

“It’s okay honey, shh, you’re going to over-tax yourself,” you crooned, caressing his cheek with your free hand. He whimpered softly, nuzzling into your palm. “I love you so much darling, please, I want you well,” you said softly. 

Well, was what his traitorous mind focused on. He wasn’t whole. How could he fix that for you? But if only he knew you meant you hated seeing him sad. 

Ezra simply nodded sadly, looking away from your eyes, which only held love. 

“Honey, it’s okay, I promise, I’m here,” you said, pulling him tight into your embrace. 

After Ezra fell asleep, you went downstairs, needing some fresh air. Apparently Cee had the same idea. 

She looked happy at first to see you, after all, you had been nothing but kind and welcoming to her. But her expression changed when she saw the look on your own face. 

“What happened? Is Ezra okay?” She asked.

“You tell me, Cee,” you said, trying to keep the tremble from your voice, with little success. “You said the woman who stabbed Ezra died, but the one who shot him, you don’t know who they are, right?” 

Cee’s eyes widened. “I….umm...did Ezra tell you…”

“He did. But you should have told me. You, Cee, who I opened our home to, you hurt him,” you said in a fierce whisper, shaking and fighting back tears. You wanted to scream, shake her, but you felt yourself breaking apart from the inside. 

“Ezra asked me not too...and did he tell you why I shot him? And that I helped him after?” She said, stepping a bit closer to you. 

“Yes,” you said, eyes piercing daggers into Cee’s. 

“Look, I’m sorry. He talked about you constantly, and he was so scared you wouldn’t,” she hesitated, biting her lip as she looked to her feet. 

“Wouldn’t what,” you said, your voice softening a bit. 

“That you wouldn’t ….that I guess you would see him differently, without his arm?”

You simply stood there, mouth open. 

“What?” You rasped. How could this be true? How could you have not realized. 

“So I mean, he was you know, how he is, and he asked me not to tell you, and he shot my dad, so…” 

There was a hint of defiance in her voice. “I get you’re upset, and I should have told you. For that I’m sorry. But after what he did...I mean I helped him, got him back to you after he got proper medical aid, so,” she babbled, not sure how to appease you. You had seemed so sweet, and though Ezra had warned her you would defend him fiercely, she had taken it with a grain of salt. 

“Do you know how hard it’s been? I try so hard to be strong, little bird,” you sneered at that last part, as your body shook with anger at this child, this Cee. 

“How many nights I have had to cry alone, again, since you both returned, because it kills me I couldn’t be there for him? Hold him close and tell him how much I love and need him when he was hurt? It’s a pain, child, you may understand when you grow up. There is no pain greater than knowing the person you love more than your own life is hurting. And that you weren’t there when he needed you most. That you couldn’t stop it. It doesn’t matter what he’s done. Ezra is everything. I don’t care that he is missing a limb, he is whole and the same in my heart. He is my sun, moon, and stars. There is no life, not for me, not without him,” your voice cracked on a sob as you clapped your hand over your mouth, your emotions taking over, spilling out. 

“And I ….I was just trying to do what he asked..” Cee whispered, not sure what to do with your tears. One thing she was sure of, you reminded Cee of her late mother. You loved with your whole heart. And it was breaking at Ezra’s pain. 

“I don’t care what he asked you to do. You are here, in our home, with….with my Ezra, and all along you, “ your breath hitched as you sat down sobbing, no longer able to control the wails from your frame. It felt as if you were drowning. 

Cee gulped, eyes wide. She contemplated trying to comfort you, but she panicked. Cee decided going back to her room was best, and hurried off as you wept. You didn’t even notice in your fog of tears. It was as if you were lost in your own pain. 

Then, you felt a soft hand on your shoulder, a strong arm pulling you in and out from your fog. The scent of home, and a kiss pressed to your temple.

“Sweetheart,” Ezra murmured, rocking you in his embrace. 

Part of you wanted to stay strong for Ezra, but it was too late. You couldn’t deny the effect of his embrace, his soft endearment. 

You let yourself slip off the chair so you could melt into him fully, pressing every inch of yourself against his skin, as gently as you could. 

You had so much you wanted to say, but all that came out was a pained wail of his name as you clutched at his nightshirt. 

“Oh my dearest one, I’m here, it’s alright,” he whispered. Ezra had to fight back his own tears, as he was so overcome hearing what you had said to Cee about him. And at seeing you hurting so much. 

You could only whimper in reply, shaking as you buried your face in Ezra’s chest. The two of you sat there for several minutes, Ezra not loosening his hold, his body wrapped around you as much as he could to make up for one arm embracing you.

“Sweetest one, I love you so much,” he mumbled several times, the only sounds in the living area as you cried. His words of love like a prayer he hoped would heal your pain. 

When your shaking had subsided, you placed a kiss to his chest, smiling as he closed his eyes at your tender affections. 

“Ez,” you said gently, slowly pulling out of his embrace. Or at least tried to. 

“Hmm?” 

“You need to be resting, let’s go upstairs, okay?” You said, one hand moving to rub his chest. You went to lift yourself up but Ezra stopped you, placing his hand over yours and squeezing gently. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice barely audible. 

“What? Honey why?” You said, caressing his cheek with your free hand. 

“I didn’t know why you were crying...that you were hurting for me angel.” 

It took you a moment to realize what he meant. Clearly, Ezra had overheard what you said to Cee. Your lip trembled, and you could only shake your head. “No, I’m sorry. That you thought ...you thought I wouldn’t,” you stopped, tears coming again.

“Oh dearest one,” Ezra said, his own eyes filing with tears. “I...I shouldn’t have let my own fears sow doubt in your adoration-”

“Ezra, we can talk more, please, but let’s go upstairs, I don’t want you to be in pain baby,” you said, another sob breaking free. 

Ezra sighed, pulling you tighter to him. He knew you wouldn’t relent, and you would only hurt further for him in your concern. As much as he knew you loved him, it still knocked the air from his lungs sometimes just how vast your devotion was. How deep and unconditional your love is for him. Ezra couldn’t help the passing thought that this is why you would be the most amazing mother. He gently hushed you, nodding against you. 

…

Once the two of you were back upstairs, you helped Ezra into bed. He could do it himself, but he knew how much you wanted to tend to him. He had already denied you being able to care for him on the Green, he could not deny you this. Or of being there for him ever again. He hadn’t thought of how much it pained his sweet love to see him suffering. That it wasn’t vanity, of course not, his celestial being was above that. It was all consuming, selfless love. One he has never felt before, except perhaps from his own mother. A love that ached to care and protect him as much as he did you. 

You both cuddled close on the bed, and you tucked yourself into Ezra’s side as you both sat against the headboard. 

“Are you comfortable honey,” you say softly, rubbing gentle circles on his chest, looking up at him with concern. Ezra looked down at you, and all he could see was that love and worry for him. How could he have even doubted your brilliant devotion? 

“Yes, thank you dearest one,” he said, placing a kiss to the top of your head, while running his fingers through your hair. “You always worry about me, are you feeling alright angel? I am...I am so sorry I was blind to your pain. That I kept Cee’s actions from you. You mean everything to me, and I love you with every fiber of my humble being, you know that don’t you,” he said, hand coming to caress your cheek.

You pressed a kiss to his palm, causing him to smile. “I do. And I’m sorry honey, I just ...I hate seeing you in pain, and you were already so sad. I wanted to focus on you, but I didn’t mean to hide from you. I should have told you, how worried I was, and let you hold me,” you whispered, tears brimming your eyes again. 

“Oh my dearest love, you need not apologize. And you know,” he swallowed, sitting up a bit more to face you. “What happened to me, I took that risk. It is not your fault, angel. Please don’t think that. Ever. All you have brought into my life has been a blessing, and I would endure that and more for you. I wanted, dearest one, to take care of you. And now, we have enough I shall never need leave you again,” he said. 

“Ezra,” you sniffed, pulling back slightly to look at him. “Darling man, I only need you,” you sobbed. “Please, don’t ever keep your pain and fear from me. It hurts that I couldn’t keep you safe baby. That’s what I need, you here. I need to be there for you Ezra. It doesn’t matter what we have, I need...I need you, just you here...loving me ,” your breath hitched as you struggled to speak as you cried. How could this dear but foolish man not understand your greatest joy was having him by your side? Or that he needed to provide for you when the warm rays of his adoration were more than enough? 

“Oh, I...dearest one,” Ezra felt at a loss for words, a rarity for him. Sobs bubbled from his own chest, and he pulled you closer to him. 

“I’m not ...I am not leaving you ever again, you ...you are the love of my life...the dearest thing to me in all the universe, I am so sorry that I left you to bear this alone. That I kept my fears from you, I have never felt safer or more loved than you make me feel darling. Please, dear heart, please forgive me. I never want to part from your side, ever again. And I won’t, ever, until my last breath, until the end of time, unless you ask me to.”

You felt your breath catch. “That’s all I want too Ezra. I love you so much, and being without you, while you were gone, I -” your tears cut you off again. 

“Shhh,” he hushed you gently, caressing your cheek and peppering kisses over your tears. “What you said, dearest one, words cannot express how much they meant to this weary soul. I do not know what I did to deserve an angel who loves me so, but I am too selfish to let you go. And I never want to be the cause of such hurt in you sweetheart. You are a part of me, the other half of my soul. You, darling, you alone make me whole. There is no life for me either, without you in it. I want to give you all of me, if you are willing. Dearest love, angel of my heart, will you be my wife?” 

“Ezra,” you gasp, your sobs overtaking you for a much better reason. “You...really? Because nothing would make me happier,” you smile through your tears. 

“Of course dearest one,” he laughs softly through his tears, pressing his forehead to yours. “There is nothing that would make me happier either, sweetheart. If you might, love, reach into my bedside table, there is something waiting for you,” he whispers, searching your eyes and delighting at the excitement and joy he sees there. 

You lean over to do as he asked, and find a small box there, pulling it out. Ezra looks nervous, although you have just told him you want this as much as he does. 

You sit close to him, swallowing thickly. He really did mean it. Finally you were going to get to marry the man who was your world. You felt tears still flowing, and you looked to him, silently asking if you should open it. He nodded, a shy grin on his face. 

“Oh Ezra,” you gasped. In the little box is the most beautiful ring you have ever seen. So delicate, and looked like it came from another time. The gem at the center glimmering under the low light of the bedroom. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” you said in awe. You wanted to take it out, but you wanted to leave it for your love to remove and place on your finger. 

“Yes,” he said, but he was looking at you with complete and utter adoration, eyes shining through his tears. “Just what I thought….when I met you my dear sweet angel,” he rasped, voice crackling with emotion. 

“Honey,” you whimpered, placing a kiss to his lips, your free hand coming to stroke his cheek. You pressed your forehead to his again, as you both tried to catch your breath. 

After a few moments, Ezra pulled back, and you held the box open for him. He shook and trembled as he worked to take it out. A flush was rising to his cheeks, embarrassed at this action taking a minute, you could tell. Your free hand went to his thigh, rubbing gentle circles. “It’s okay honey,” you murmured. “It’s me. I love you more than anything.”

Ezra shook with another sob at your devotion. He couldn’t believe you really wanted this as much as he did. 

Once he got it out of the box, you raised your hand to help him in placing the ring on. Once he did, Ezra’s forehead dropped over your hand, where he placed his lips with reverence. You hiccuped on your tears, gently coaxing him up after a minute. You move your hands to his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. 

“I can’t wait to be your wife baby,” you sniffle as the kiss breaks. 

“Dearest one, I will endeavor to be the husband you deserve. I love you so very much.”

“Just be you Ez. I love you just the way you are.”


End file.
